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April
7, 2003
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April 8,
2003
We're Here. We're There. We're Everywhere
Baghdad Babble
By WALLACE GAGNE
They crossed the Tigris. They circled Baghdad.
They're degrading the Republican Guard, flexing their muscles,
renaming the airport.
Our guys' got M16s, F-14s, M1-A, Abrams
and Bradley Fighting Vehicles.
They've got AK-47s, Soviet-built T72s
and rocket propelled grenades.
We know they've got enormous stocks of
biochemical weapons.
We'll find 'em. Smoking gun. Blister
agent. Nerve agent. Told you so.
Could be mosquito repellent. It's day.
It's night. It's fireballs, mortar and small arms fire. Saddam's
alive. Saddam's dead. Saddam's standing on the corner watching
all the girls go by.
We're sending the Seventh Cavalry, the
101st Airborne, the 3rd Infantry. We've got Warthogs, Tony Blair,
Super Cobras, Strike Eagles and Tom Cats.
They're hiding in tunnels, hunkered in
bunkers, hanging from the rafters. People are cheering.
People are desperate. People are funny.
We're being shot at, welcomed with open arms, cut to pieces.
Here's Phil. There's Wolf. Over to Nic.
Back to Becky. They're up in the air,
on the ground, down in the dumps.
It's hot. It's cold. It's hot and cold.
This war's fantastic. This war's a disaster.
Streets and markets are seething. It's
Saddam.
It's Chemical Ali. It's the Chemical
Brothers. We're here. We're there.
We're everywhere.
I'm trapped in a firefight, caught in
a crossfire, hit by friendly fire.
He's a tyrant. He's a patriot. A genius.
An idiot. Stay tuned.
Fighting's house to house, room to room,
hand to mouth, toe to toe, pillar to post, ass over tea kettle.
It's just beginning. It's all over.
Open-ended. Closed captioned. Our forces
are pressing north, heading south, looking west, bowing to the
east. All is calm.
All is bright. Be the first to know.
The latest reports are deeply disturbing, highly elating, clumsy
and ignorant. Thank you.
We're stuck in a quagmire. We're in
the driver's seat. We're in a quagmire stuck in the driver's
seat. He's entrenched.
She's embedded. They're encircled. The
Iraqi people are full of hope, draining our resources, brimming
with confidence, bleeding us dry.
The media is exposing the truth, hiding
the facts.
It's spectacular. It's hopeless. A cakewalk.
A bloodbath.
More in a moment.
Wallace Gagne lives in Tokyo. He can be reached at: w-s-gagne@nifty.com
Yesterday's
Features
Anthony
Gancarski
Colin Powell's Shame
John
Chuckman
Was Einstein Right About Israel?
David
Krieger
The Meaning of Victory
Tom
Gorman
The Mantra of the Troops: Support
or Treason?
Adam
Federman
The Absence of War
Vijay
Prashad
There Are No More Arguments
Tom
Stephens
The End of the Innocence
Mickey
Z.
Makes Me Sic (Sic): Copy Editing
Bush Speak
Pierre
Tristam
War Coverage: a Dishonest Reality
Show
Hammond
Guthrie
The Deadly Mihrab
Steve
Perry
War Web Log 04/04
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