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Today's
Stories
April 1, 2005
Daniel Wolff
Patti
Scialfa's Conversation with America
March 31, 2005
Sharon Smith
Leftwing
Apologists for the Occupation
Ron Jacobs
Rounding Out Iraq's History
Tariq Ali
British
Elections: Punish the Warmongers
Michael Dickinson
Cartoon Capers: Turkey's War on Political Cartoonists
Kanak Mani
Dixit
The Struggle for Nepal's Future
Mitchell Zimmerman
The Bizarre Legal Philosophy of Justice Janice Rogers Brown
Xuan-Trang
Ho
Guatemala and CAFTA: Return to the Bad Old Days?
Dave Zirin
Pay the Damn Players!
Joe Bageant
In
Praise of Holy Madness
Jeff Halper
The
End of a Viable Palestinian State
Website of
the Day
Free Nepal
March 30, 2005
Gary Leupp
Curing
Those People of Their Hatred: Condi's Pitch for a "Different
Kind" of Middle East
Ralph Nader
/ Kevin Zeese
Report
on Iraq Intelligence Failure: No One to Blame
Chase Madar
Wolfowitz's Career Move: From Failed Warrior to Humanitarian
Banker
Toni Solo
Bush in Latin America
Jackie Corr
Blessed are the Rich: George Bush's Montana Visit
Ahmad Faruqui
Much Ado About F-16s
Mike Roselle
Refuting Dave Foreman: Days of Whine and Posers
Jude Wanniski
America's Gunboat Diplomacy
Francis A.
Boyle
Why You Should Boo Illinois
Jeffrey St.
Clair
Downwinders
be Damned
Website of
the Day
Help! Nicaraguan Workers Are Being Poisoned
March 29, 2005
Ralph Nader
Is
the End of the Iraq War / Occupation Near?
Gary Leupp
Terri
Schiavo's Death and the Birth of an "Elected" Iraqi
Government
Sonia Cardenas
A
Pandora's Box of Abuses: the Geneva Trap
Stew Albert
Take Back the Life Force!
Mark Weisbrot
Owning Up to the "Ownership Society"
Dave Lindorff
China's Report on Human Rights in US is No Cariacture
Carl G. Estabrook
The
Subversive Commandments
March 28, 2005
Jeremy Scahill
Sgrena
Sets the Record Straight: "There was No Checkpoint; No Self-Defense"
Sonali Kolhatkar
Forgetting
Afghanistan...Again
Sasha Kramer
The
UN's Betrayal of Haiti
Kevin Zeese
Don't Just Blame the Democrats
Tom Stephens
Sacred
Law; Traditional Wisdom: Environmental Justice and Indigenous
Peoples
Dr. Teresa Whitehurst
We're Walking Into a Trap
Newton Garver
Reflections on Bolivia
Paul Craig
Roberts
A
Bail Out Draft for a Cakewalk War?
Website of the Day
Stumped? Ask a Librarian, 24/7
March 26 /
27, 2005
Gary Leupp
God's
Imperialists
Peter Linebaugh
To Render, to Impeach, to Habeas Corpus
Marc Robert
A European Student's Experience at Columbia University
Laura Carlsen
The Threesome in Crawford: Summit as Traveling Stage Show
Saul Landau
/ Puja Patel
The Price of Privatized "Development"
Dave Foreman
Nature's Crisis
Fred Gardner
Will San Francisco Pander to the Prohibitionists?
Jennifer Matsui
Terri Schiavo: America's Most Desperate Housewife?
Dave Lindorff
Provoking Iran
Dharma Adhikari
The Reversal of Democracy in Nepal
Joshua Frank
The Howard Dean Doctrine
Patrick Barr
Have Box Cutter, Will Travel: a True Story
Christopher
Brauchli
F-16s to Pakistan
Ramzy Baroud
Israel's Record is "Not Reassuring"
Jackie Corr
When the Gov. of Montana Declared Martial Law in Butte
Ben Tripp
Off with Your Appurtenances!
Dr. Susan Block
Break a Taboo for Easter: Springtime for Sex and God
Mickey Z.
How Three Unrelated Books Relate
Justin Taylor
Beware of "Beware of God"
Richard Joseph
Cochabamba!: the Water War in Bolivia
Poets' Basement
Martin, Smith, Ford, Bortz and Albert
March 25, 2005
Scott Richard
Lyons
Horror
and Hope at Red Lake Nation
Yoshie Furuhashi
No Troops; No Wars
Pat Williams
How a Town Got Poisoned: Libby, MT and the Labor Movement
Mark Engler
Remembering
Archbishop Romero: 25 Years After His Assassination
Rahul Mahajan
Culture of Life or Culture of Living Death?
Lance Selfa
Can the Democrats be Moved to the Left?
Ralph Nader
Corporate Cyborg: Cal Nurses Take on Schwarzenegger
John R. Llewellyn
Why Utah's Prosecutors are Soft on Polygamy: a Former Sheriff
Speaks Out
Jo Guldi
Beyond
Belief: Holy Week in France
March 24, 2005
Joshua Frank
The
Selling (Out) of the Antiwar Movement
Talli Nauman
Vicente and George: Security by Any Other Name Would Smell Sweeter
Martin Espada
Why I Refused Coke's Money: a Poet Speaks Out About Colombia
Dave Lindorff
Another Social Security Snow Job
Elaine Cassel
When
Fools Rush In: the Legal Implications of the Schiavo Case
Jack McCarthy
Jeb Bush's Mob: Snatch, Grab, Insert Tube
Jack Random
Juxtaposition: Terri Schiavo and the Red Lake Massacre
Barbara Ferguson
Wolfowitz Dating Muslim Woman and World Bank Employee
Suzan Mazur
Peak Oil: Debate or Vendetta?
Dorreen Yellow Bird
Suffering Red Lake Nation Endures the Worst of Days
Andrew Wimmer
and Mark Chmiel
Torture:
Old Hat or Open Wound?
March 23, 2005
Patrick Bond
A
New War? On Wolfowitz's World Bank
Mike Whitney
Railroading
Moussaoui
Becky White
Why
I Hung from a Bridge to Defend the Wild Forests of the Siskiyou
Mountains
Michael Donnelly
Dissecting the Changeling: How the AuCoin Express Was Really
Derailed
Niranjan Ramakrishnan
Remembering
Ram Manohar Lohia: the Che of Non-Violence
Ashley Smith
Bush is What Hypocrisy Looks Like
David Swanson
The More Bush Talks, the Less Popular Privatization Becomes
Derrick O'Keefe
Enter Bono, Stage Right
Paul A. Moore
The Fire This Time: the Bush Bros. Racist Crackdown in Florida
Dalton Walker
My Reservation Will Never Be the Same
Patrick Cockburn
The
US Frees Iraqi Kidnappers to Become Spies
March 22, 2005
William Blum
Anti-Empire
Report: Democracy--or is it the US Military--on the March
Jim Vallette
Cheney's Oil Change at the World Bank
Greg Moses
A Palm Sunday Chat with Sis Levin
John Farley
Bush's Culture of Life: Let the
Insurance Companies Pull the Plug When the Sick Cost Too Much
Ron Jacobs
Halt
the Anniversary Rallies and Stop the Damn War
M. Junaid Alam
How the Democratic Party Fosters Conservatism
Rep. Cynthia
McKinney
An
Immoral and Illegal War: Destroying Iraq Isn't Enough for Them
Dave Lindorff
"Saving" Schiavo; Killing the News
James Petras
Fateful
Quadrangle: Cuba and Venezuela Face Off Against the US and Colombia
March 21, 2005
John Walsh
In
the Bars on the Road to Fayettevile: War Support Paper Thin
Werther
The
Legacy of George Kennan, Chief Architect of the Cold War
Mike Stark
Where is the "Culture of Life" in Maryland? Time is
Running Out for Vernon Evans
David Swanson
Feeding
Tubes for the Third World: Put the Hungry into Comas, Then Feed
Them!
James T. Phillips
Happy Meals: Behind the Grill at a Baltimore Diner
Mike Ferner
Serving,
Refusing, Impeaching
Robert Jensen
The World Waits for an Answer
Paul Craig
Roberts
A
Threat Greater Than Terrorism
Stew Albert
Vegetable Nation
Website of
the Day
American Press Blotter: Jacko, Terry and Steroids vs. the World
March 19, 2005
Alexander Cockburn
Three-Card
Monte and the One-Party State
Tom Reeves
Exposing the Coming Draft: a Draft by Any Other Name is Still
Wrong
Saul Landau
The Grandchildren of Roy Cohn: the Politics of the Repressed
Alan Maass
Making Bankruptcy a Life Sentence
Ron Jacobs
Submit or Else: the Nuclear Demon that Won't Go Awayy
David Green
The Holocaust Industry Comes to the University of Illinois
John Blair
Hey, Dick! I'm Still Free: a Blow for Freedom of Speech in Indiana
Steve Greenfield
The Decline of the Green Party: the Numbers are In
Ben Tripp
Nature isn't Real
Mike Roselle
A History of White People in the Conservation Movement
Joshua Frank
Hope in Red State America: Lessons from the Big Sky Country
Mark Weisbrot
The World Bank: a Bigger Problem Than Wolfowitz
Dave Lindorff
Congress on Steroids
Sarah Schaffer
Lula's Nukes: Bush Bullies Iran, Ignores Brazil's Nuclear Ambitions
Warren Hastings
Why the Queen Should Chop Off Tony Blair's Head for Treason
Poets' Basement
Lodge, Albert. Landau, Engel, Davies, Capaccio
March 18, 2005
Dave Zirin
The
Congressional Urine Testers: Baseball's Theater of the Absurd
Richard Thieme
The
Church Committee Candidate: I was a Victim of the KGB
John Walsh
Misdirecting the Anti-War Movement
David Swanson
Hunger
Striking for a Living Wage at Georgetown
Ben Terrall
In
the Spirit of Rachel Corrie: Confronting Caterpillar in San Leandro
David Boyle
Just Say "No" to Harvard
Dorreen Yellow Bird
Coping with Teen Suicide on the Standing Rock Reservation
Mokhiber /
Weissman
Global Bully Goes to Guatemala
Greg Moses
They
Don't Shoot Donkeys...Do They?
Website of
the Day
800
Protests: Find One Near You
March 17, 2005
Christopher
Brauchli
Rendered
Unto Caesar: the Etymology of Torture
Bill Quigley
The St. Patrick's Four and the Resistance to the War in Iraq
Brian Cloughley
Bush's
Herds: Willing to Kick Anyone in the Face
Gary Bass / Adam Hughes
Inside the Bush Budget: Rhetoric vs. Reality
Dave Lindorff
The Incredible Shrinking Coalition
Jude Wanniski
Wolfowitz at the World Bank: a Perfect Fit
Alexander Billet
Irish Republicanism at the Crossroads
John Ross
Wal-Mart
Invades Mexico
Website of the Day
Campus Resistance
March 16, 2005
Ralph Nader
Filling
the Congressional Cop-Out Gap: an Idea for Local Peace Activists
William Cook
Resurrecting the Neo-Con Failures
Kevin Zeese
Two
Years of Occupation: Both US and Iraq are Worse Off
Jackie Corr
Why is Dick Cheney Laughing? The New Tax Cut Patriotism
Alan Maass
Bush's Class War Budget
David R. Kolker
Jailed Without Charges in Haiti
Cindy Ellen
Hill
Speculative Policing in Northern Ireland
Paul Craig
Roberts
America's
Has-Been Economy
March 15, 2005
Gary Leupp
The
Plan is Still on Track
Dave Lindorff
Free John Walker Lindh!
Greg Moses
The Fix-It Guys and Their Electoral Filters
Hadas Their
/ Katrina Yeaw
Military
Recruiters Target Campus Activists
Alison Weir
Uprising
on the Anniversary of Rachel Corrie's Death
Matt Koehler
A
Line in the Ancient Forest: 50 Arrested in Blockade to Save the
Siskiyous
Evelyn Pringle
Labeling Kids Mentally Ill for Profit
Harry Browne
War
and Peace in Ireland
March 14, 2005
Ralph Nader
Restarting
the Anti-War Movement
David Miller
Ministry
of Defence in the Control Booth: Did the BBC Broadcast Fake News
Reports?
Stan Cox
Look
Deeper, Mr. Moyers
Mike Roselle
Why Women Should Take Over the Environmental Movement
David Swanson
Nursing Against the Odds: the Workers' View
Simona Sharoni
To End the War, Listen to Soldiers
Dave Lindorff
Corporate Surveillance
Dorreen Yellow Bird
Incidents at Standing Rock: Suicide on the Reservation
Tom Barry
John
Bolton's Baggage
Website of the Day
Spinwatch
March 12 /
13, 2005
David H. Price
The
CIA's Campus Spies
Noam Chomsky
The Toothpaste Election
Laura Carlsen
Women's Rights Eroding in Latin America
Stan Goff
On Revolutionary Optimism: the View from Cumberland Co, NC
Valentina Nicoli
The Game of Role-Playing and the Ambush of Giuliana Sgrena
Michael Leonardi
Head Shot: Lifting the Veil on the Sgrena / Calipari Incident
Saul Landau
/ Sarah Anderson
Blood Money and the Riggs Bank: Pinochet's Bank Finally Pays
Up
Joe Bageant
It Ain't Easy Being White
Manuel García,
Jr.
The Question of American Guilt
Greg Moses
Electoral Lessons from Cuyahoga and Harris Counties
James J. Brittain
Run, Fight or Die in Colombia
Ben Tripp
Communist Watch
Joshua Frank
A Red State Paradox: Montana on the Cusp
Fred Gardner
Pesticides Made Her Sick; Pot Got Her Well
Walter Brasch
Bush's Horse Killers
Ramzy Baroud
Reining in Syria on Behalf of Israel
Christopher
Brauchli
Going All the Way for Usurers
Michael Donnelly
The Humiliation of Les "Timber Toad" AuCoin
Ron Jacobs
ZAP Comics: Still Kicking US Culture in the Ass
Richard Oxman
The Eternal Reciprocity of Tears
Poets' Basement
Smith-Ferri, Davies, Ford, Louise and Albert
March 11, 2005
Jerry Fresia
Targeting
Giuliana
Ron Jacobs
Making Lebensraum in the Middle East for Tel Aviv's Fears &
Washington's Dollars
Dave Lindorff
America's Magical Kingdom
William James
Martin
Ben Gurion and the Origin of the "Pushing into the Sea"
Myth
Muqtedar Khan
Modi's Operandi: American Business and Genocide Linked Again
Kathryn Ledebur
Bolivia
on the Brink
Mike Whitney
Saddam's Capture: Just Another Bush Lie?
Dave Zirin
Neo-McCarthyism
Slugs Baseball
Website of the Day
William Rivers Pitt, Another Hack for the Occupation
March 10, 2005
Paul Craig
Roberts
So
Much for the New Bush Economy
John Marc Leas, Colleen McLaughlin
and Ashley Smith
Vermont Vs. the War
Larry Birns
The Pathological John Bolton
Michael Donnelly
The Re-Reinvention of an Oregon Timber Beast
Luis Gomez
In Bolivia, Reality Changes Once Again
Jackie Corr
Whatever Happened to the Social Security Trust Fund?
Uri Avnery
Bush's Guru: Natan Sharansky
Website of the Day
Red Alert in the Siskiyous!
March 9, 2005
Jeffrey St.
Clair
Dirty
Harry's Fear of Flying: Making Love, War and Profits at Boeing
Ward Churchill
Who's the Terrorist?
Robert Fisk
Another Species of Cedar: a Half Million Lebanese March for Syria
Bernice Powell Jackson
No Justice for America's Nuclear Guinea Pigs in the Marshall
Islands
Mickey Z.
The Revolutionary of Potential Art
Dave Zirin
NHL Says: "Bring On the Scabs!"
Michael Donnelly
Standing Up to Ecocide in Oregon
James Reiss
Stopping by Words in Favor of Privatizing Social Security
Vijay Prashad
Get
Modi: a State Terrorist Visits Florida
March 8, 2005
Paul Craig
Roberts
Bush's
Syrian Delusion
Robert Fisk
Lebanon's Nightmare
Kurt Nimmo
War is Peace: John Bolton to the UN
Suzan Mazur
Time for a Truth and Reconciliation Commission on Polygamy?
Evelyn Pringle
Neil Bush and Crest: Another Profiteering Scheme
Giuliana Sgrena
My
Truth: "The Americans Don't Want You to Return"
Elaine Cassel
The Appalling Case of Abu Ali
March 7, 2005
Dave Zirin
Bloodlust
in Annapolis: Gov. Ehrlich Wants to Kill Vernon Lee Evans
Brian Cloughley
More War Crimes
John Chuckman
The
Creature Walks Among Us
Mike Whitney
Jose Padilla and the 10 Commandments
Mark Weisbrot
Haiti's Torment: Why Are US Human Rights Groups Silent?
Fred Gardner
The Cannabinoid Messenger
Richard Neville
The Italian Job
Uri Avnery
The
Next Crusades
March 5 / 6,
2005
Alexander Cockburn
Arnold
vs. the Nurses
Gary Leupp
What's Happening in Lebanon: an Interview with Fadi Agha, Advisor
to President Lahoud
Ron Jacobs
Lies Military Recruiters Tell
Tom Reeves
Haiti: One Year After the Coup
Jenna Orkin
Memories of Kawaggi, Saudi Arabia
Tom Barry
Negroponte: Intel Czar or Policy Hack?
Joshua Frank
The Trials of Max Baucus
Moshe Adler
When Pfizer Came to New London: Corporate Giveways vs. Eminent
Domain
Jane Stillwater
My Jury Questionnaire: "Do You Agree that a Corporation
is a Person?"
Omar Barghouti / Jacqueline
Sfeir
Double Standards on S. Africa and Israel: an Open Letter to UNESCO
Christopher
Brauchli
Target: Al Jazeera
John Pilger
The Fall of Saigon: 30 Years Later
Raúl
Zibechi
Colombia: Militarism and Social Movements
David Krieger
Saving the Nuclear Nonproliferation Agreement
Three Takes
on Nepal
Surendra R. Devkota
Another Blow to the King of Nepal
Bhishma Karki
Nepal in Twilight
Joseph Pietri
Murder at the Palace
Ben Tripp
The Good Old Days
Poets' Basement
Hassen, Chief Running Late, Wuest, Albert and Collins
Website of
the Weekend
O'Shaughnessy's: All About Medical Pot
March 4, 2005
Frederick Hudson
Caught
in a Cage
March 3, 2005
Pat Williams
"Social Security Protects the Young as Much as the Old"
Brian Cloughley
Headlines, Beliefs and Deceptions
Dave Lindorff
Why Do the Democrats Pamper Greenspan?
Amira Hass
Oslo All Over Again
Greg Moses
In Oscar Texas: One Down, One to Go?
Lynne Landes
Exit Poll Madness
Nelson P. Valdés
Rapture Takes Leftists
John Ross
Mexico's
Fox Schemes to Jail Front-Running Leftist
March 2, 2005
Saul Landau
/ Farrah Hassen
The
"Noble Liars" Attack Syria
Mike Roselle
The State of Oregon vs. Mike Roselle: Criminalizing Environmental
Dissent
M. Junaid Alam
Columbia University and the New Anti-Semitism
Suzan Mazur
Inside the Polygamy Cults of Southern Utah
Jackson Thoreau
Texas Congressman Calls for "Nuking Syria"
Michael Donnelly
No Love for Teresa Heinz; John Edwards Gets a Pass
Jeffrey St.
Clair
Uncle
Bucky Makes a Killing
Website of the Day
The Ghosts of Karl Marx & Ed Abbey
March 1, 2005
Scott Richard
Lyons
Million
Dollar Bigotry
David Lindorff
Stealing Workers' Pensions
Patrick Cockburn
/ David Enders
Bloodbath in Iraq
Ron Jacobs
The Last Poets Recalled
Tanya Garcia
USA Next: the Industry Front Group to Privatize Social Security
Joseph Pietri
The Drug Trail Ends in Kathmandu: Golden Tar Heroin and the Black
Prince
Kona Lowell
Woody: Broken in Vietnam
Paul Craig
Roberts
The
Coming End of the American Superpower
Website of
the Day
Petition: No US Intervention in Iran
Hot Stories
Alexander Cockburn
Behold,
the Head of a Neo-Con!
Subcomandante
Marcos
The
Death Train of the WTO
Norman Finkelstein
Hitchens
as Model Apostate
Steve Niva
Israel's
Assassination Policy: the Trigger for Suicide Bombings?
Dardagan,
Slobodo and Williams
CounterPunch Exclusive:
20,000 Wounded Iraqi Civilians
Steve
J.B.
Prison Bitch
Sheldon
Rampton and John Stauber
True Lies: the Use of Propaganda
in the Iraq War
Wendell
Berry
Small Destructions Add Up
CounterPunch
Wire
WMD: Who Said What When
Cindy
Corrie
A Mother's Day Talk: the Daughter
I Can't Hear From
Gore Vidal
The
Erosion of the American Dream
Francis Boyle
Impeach
Bush: A Draft Resolution
Click
Here for More Stories.
|
April Fools Edition, 2005
You Have Attacked Our Swabhimaan!
Et
Tu, George?
By
RA RAVISHANKAR
Urbana-Champaign,
Illinois
Background Information: Narendra Modi,
the Chief Minister of the western Indian state of Gujarat, has
been widely implicated in the anti-Muslim pogrom of March 2002
that left more than 2,000 Muslims dead and 100,000 homeless.
He was to tour the US for a week starting March 20th, but a successful
mobilization by the Coalition
Against Genocide and the US state department's denial of
a visa put paid to his rehabilitation hopes. What follows is
a fictional account of former Indian Deputy Prime Minister LK
Advani's letter to US President George Bush. LK Advani and Modi
are both long-standing members of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh,
a Hindu supremacist organization with a long history of violence
against religious and cultural minorities in India. For more
information, please see the CAG website mentioned above.
Dear George,
Pranaam! I know you don't understand
Hindi, but how do I care? Hindi is our national language, and
"Hindu, Hindi, Hindustan" is our beloved slogan. Given
that you have attacked our swabhimaan, I don't owe you anything,
least of all a comprehensible letter. Besides, even in peaceful
times, Vajpayee-ji had stunned the world and made us all proud
by addressing the UN General Assembly in Hindi.
Yes George, I am extremely
offended by your hard slap to Narendra Modi. In fact, I am still
struggling to think coherently. After all that we did to you,
is this what you do to us? A friend in need is a friend indeed,
George. And I am pained that you've failed us in our time of
need. You were nice to us when we were in power, but now that
we are down (but not out, mind you!), you have stabbed us in
the back. Why, George, why? After all, I am sure the death of
a couple thousand brown Muslims couldn't have moved you. I would
be much obliged if you could let me in on the real reasons.
In case you have forgotten,
George, let me remind you of our response to the tragic events
of September 11, 2001. While your detractors were lampooning
you for your inaction (that you preferred to read stories to
kids in Florida, rather than act like the selected, oops, elected
head of state), we were among the first to condemn the attacks
and pledge our "unambiguous and unconditional" [1]
support to your noble cause of fighting terrorism. The same Narendra,
the same guy that you've now deemed unfit to set foot on American
soil, said this [2]: "The BJP is of the firm opinion that
terrorism is a war against the human race. When terrorism is
inspired by political and religious beliefs it becomes more lethal.
The world is seeing it in the worst form today." Isn't it
ironical that you've used Narendra's own rationale to screw him?
Narendra worships cows (cows are to us what foetuses are to you!)
as his mother, George. How can such a bloke harm humans? After
you denied him a visa, he was completely distraught and I had
a hard time consoling him. "If I was anyway going to be
implicated publicly, why did I go through the trouble of destroying
all evidence?," he kept asking me in between sobs. Dignity
of labor never meant much to me, but to see all of Narendra's
valiant efforts go waste was a heartrending sight.
Let me also remind you that
at your moment of need, Vajpayee-ji was as forthright as Narendra
[3]: "We must strike at the roots of the system that breeds
terrorism. We must stamp out the infrastructure that imparts
the perverse ideological poison by which the terrorist is fired
up. We must hold governments wholly accountable for the terrorism
that originates from their countries. In other words, to get
at the terrorists the world community must get at their organizations,
at those who condition, finance, train, equip and protect them."
Lest you think he did a volte-face later, let me assure you he
didn't.
Vajpayee-ji does have a tendency
to say different things at different fora, but on this, he was
atal (That's again a hindi word, George. Please pardon my rudeness,
the denial of visa to Narendra is an insult to our nation, and
I can't think of a better way to regain lost pride than by speaking
in our national language).
I am appalled, George, that
you've twisted Vajpayee-ji's words out of context. Though his
statement was worded in very general terms, you know as well
as I do that such lofty principles are only meant to be applied
to Muslims. How can you forget that only terrorism inspired by
Islam is dangerous, and only the funding of Islamic terrorist
groups needs to be stopped. Unfortunately, now you seem to have
been smitten by the commie argument about American funding of
Hindutva [4]. Let me remind you, George, that while we were applauding
your courage and egging you on (and followed your example by
enacting Patriot-ic laws ourselves), these commies were marching
alongside fellow anti-war loonies, made (and continue to make)
wicked comments against the Patriot Act, and even opposed our
noble endeavor of sacrificing some of our jawans for "Operation
Enduring Freedom." You should have packed them all to Guantanamo
Bay -- in fact, we never thought twice about how to treat our
Muslims -- but far from that, you've ganged up with them and
kicked us -- your loyal allies -- in the butt! You know what,
the commies are now taunting us for our loyalty. Praveen Togadia
(another of those blokes who wouldn't harm even a cow) had called
you "our hero", and the Indian commies are now taunting
us with questions like, "what has your hero done to you"?
I am already feeling much better,
George. I guess all I had to do was to convey my agony to you
in private. Now I can rest assured that you will take care of
this. Let bygones be bygones, and lets start a new chapter in
our friendship. We don't give a damn about the commie taunts,
all we desire is your friendship.
As for the attacks against
Pepsico, please don't lose sleep over it. This was a one-off
incident completely antithetical to our ideology, and the swayamsevaks
who had indulged in it have been let off with a severe warning.
It's just that our swayamsevaks are so used to violence, and
Narendra was for a long time heartbroken, so there was no one
to rein in on the anguished souls. As always, we very much value
our special relationship with big businesses, and are in fact,
planning to use this attack as a pretext to pass stringent legislation
that would restrict the right to peaceful protest. That way,
we hope to rein in on the mushrooming protests against Coca Cola
in India [5]. If we had our way, the police would unleash as
much violence on these peaceful protests as we have unleashed
on Muslims.
Please convey to Congressman
Pitts [6] that our swayamsevaks have been asked to exercise restraint
against Christians. Of course, violence against white Christians
has always been strictly taboo. Let me assure you and Congressman
Pitts that the Graham Staines incident was an aberration; it
only happened because our swayamsevaks couldn't ascertain the
victims' skin color in the dark. As for brown Christians, I request
you to ignore isolated acts of violence against them. (We will
also make sure these don't get reported). Considering the treatment
you mete out to African-Americans, I hope this is not too much
to ask! (Please ignore some of our intemperate remarks in this
regard).
I would also like to apologize
for the seemingly crude remarks that some of us have made against
the US. Political exigencies in a democracy demand that we play
out our carefully constructed roles. As the iron man with a Prime
Ministerial ambition, I had to react strongly to this issue.
Still, I would like to dissociate myself from this quote attributed
to me [7]: "The US is a large country, but I doubt if it
has an intelligence to match." Let me also inform you that
for some time now, we haven't been able to sustain any serious
agitation, so we might try to make political capital out of this
issue. This should be welcome news for you, for it is to your
advantage if the anti-US space is taken up by us, rather than
the loony left.
Before I end, I would like
to discuss a potentially ticklish issue on which I would very
much appreciate your feedback. After the denial of a visa to
Narendra, some of our friends are upset that you've named one
of your cats after our motherland. They find it particularly
offensive that kids who chance upon the Whitehouse website [8]
might grow up with an entirely different notion of India. Until
now, I have been able to convince them that this is a matter
of honor for all Bharatiyas and that this has ensured that our
motherland is always at the back of your mind. However, the new
developments have made this viewpoint untenable. In particular,
Balasaheb Thackeray, a venerable gentleman whose courage has
been acknowledged, among others, by a judge who noted that Balasaheb
acted like a "veteran general" [9], has ordered his
troops to be on the alert. He has a fetish for changing names,
so he might insist that you rename your cat. Or else, he and
his troops might name their dogs, "Amreeka." I will
try my best to prevail over him, but in case I can't, I want
to clarify that I had nothing to do with this.
Finally, I have a request.
You might know of the violence caused by my rath yathra in the
1990s. I hope that won't be held against me when I try to come
to the US. Also, things are not looking up for me on the legal
front, what with a regional high court ruling [10] that I could
be prosecuted for a mosque I helped demolish. (Mandir Wahin Banayenge,
George!) It was a ruling by the same court that caused former
Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi to assume dictatorial powers.
I don't have the means to indulge in anything of that sort, but
with a compliant government at the Center, you never know! In
any case, I hope our long-standing friendship would take precedence
over any petty political or human rights concerns and that I
can always count on you for a diplomatic visa.
I hope your current position
is not a principled position for human rights. Contrary to what
others might tell you, you are best when you are hypocritical,
George. Lets focus solely on the Islamic threat.
Jai Hind! Jai Shri Ram! Vande
Mataram! Garv Se Kaho Hum Hindu Hain!
Your friend, Lal Kishenchand.
ps: After the swabhimaan rally,
I heard our George console Modi that at least he didn't suffer
the ignominy of a strip search at the airport. That seemed to
mollify Narendra considerably, and he has since toned down his
anti-US rhetoric [11].
pps: One of my friends, Murli
Manohar Joshi, a co-accused in a mosque demolition case, is planning
to visit the US for a series of lectures on "The 101 benefits
of cow urine" [12] and "Vedic Astrology." [13]
I urge you to grant him a diplomatic visa. With our past threatening
to catch up with us, a normal visa would simply not suffice.
Notes:
1) See "Standing up to
be counted" at
http://www.hinduonnet.com/thehindu/2001/09/23/stories/05231348.htm
2) See "BJP expresses
solidarity with U.S." at
http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/2001/09/13/stories/0213000b.htm
3) See "Pakistan: Exploiting
US dilemma" at
http://www.thehindubusinessline.com/businessline/2001/09/18/stories/041855ma.htm
4) See "The Foreign Exchange
of Hate: IDRF and the American Funding of
Hindutva" at http://stopfundinghate.org/sacw/index.html
5) See
http://www.indiaresource.org
6) See http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c109:H.RES.160:
7) See "Modi visa issue
has hit Indo-US ties: Advani" at
http://in.rediff.com/news/2005/mar/20advani.htm
8) See "India's Biography"
at http://www.whitehouse.gov/kids/india
9) See "'The General'
in his labyrinth" at
http://www.flonnet.com/fl1518/15180200.htm
10) See "Babri case: 'Ample
proof to prosecute Advani'" at
http://us.rediff.com/news/2005/mar/21babri.htm
11) See "No issues against
US, says Modi" at
http://us.rediff.com/news/2005/mar/21modi.htm
12) See "Cow urine for
dazzling teeth?" at
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1034529.cms
13) See "Vedic astrology
and all that" at
http://www.frontlineonnet.com/fl1810/18101170.htm
Ra Ravishankar is a doctoral student at the University
of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and a contributor to the Campaign to Stop Funding
Hate. He can be reached at: ravishan@uiuc.edu
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